the cure for breast cancer

ugly hot bitches

There is a developing trend amongst the female population.  Really it could be more of a full-fledged epidemic.  This is the habit of calling ugly actresses hot. They say things like, "I love Drew Barrymore!!!!!! She is so pretty!!!!!!!" (Everyone knows women use approximately 312% more exclamation points than they need)  When the men in the room don't agree, they act outraged and say that they are better at recognizing attractive women then we are.   This is really starting to piss me off for a couple of reasons.  Men always will be better at rating women mostly because we have a penis but also because we are naturally better at everything, including but not limited to sports, driving, and eating sandwiches that women have made us.  But I sense that there is a more sinister motive behind this trend.  I think that women are trying to make themselves feel better by calling ugly actresses hot.  Then they will say to themselves, "I'm definitely hotter than her, and she's really hot.  She's an actresses."  Just so you know, being hotter than Kirsten Dunst doesn't make you hot, it just makes you like 99% of the female population.  I'm all for girls with low self-esteem (It makes them easier to seduce/trick into hooking up with you) but this is ridiculous.  We can't have Hilary Swank making $5 million a movie just because women don't feel good about themselves.

cockblocks

Whats up bitches?  I got something on my mind so I can only assume it's on your mind also.  Cockblocks.  Something needs to be done about these bitches.  i have been cockblocked 3 nights in a row.  I know what you're thinking, why don't you just bang the bejesus out of both of them like you normally do?  This is a legitimate concern, but this is a special circumstance.  It is incredibly difficult to fuck 2 girls when one of the girls is so ugly that seeing her naked makes my boner run away and not come back for the rest of the night.  That's a chance I just can't take, which is how I was cockblocked.  I understand that girls get jealous when I won't hook up with them but they need to stop being so selfish and just let what is naturally supposed to happen, happen.

numero uno and frenemies

Surprise motherfucker!  John Holmes here.  This blog will be my place to give my view on things that are important to me, and that obviously makes them important to you.  The first thing I need to talk about are frenemies.  First brought to my attention by Paris Hilton, a frenemy is a person who pretends to be your friend, but in fact is your enemy.  Now I don't know about you and I don't really care, but I do know that I think frenemies might be the biggest problem facing the world today, besides women voting, driving, and playing sports.  Stay tuned for more.